...if you don't want me to help.
A nasty little question for those of us that are hired as agile coaches/consultants/change agents: do those you are "helping" really want to be helped? Or are you, as Gerald Weinberg put it, "inflicting help"?
In my years I have coached my fair share of teams, Scrum Masters, Product Owners and managers who were really not waiting for my help. As a result: wasted time, drained energy and not much improvements towards the goals I was trying to achieve.
This behaviour of providing unwanted help is typical for team managers, coaches and scrum masters that are assigned to help - read change, turnover, improve - people and teams. I put emphasis on assigned because often the receiving end of the help did not ask for it. In order for these coaches to feel productive and valuable, they employ with good intentions all kinds of activities. Mainly to busy themselves and keep their hiring manager happy.
You always have a choice
Of course many teams are unaware that they have a problem, so I do try to make them aware of what I see. But if they don't recognise this or do not want to change the situation, I move on. Goodbye, no hard feelings, I'll find someone who does want to be coached.
Who you help is a choice. I get a lot of energy out of seeing motivated people improve because of the insights I provide and because of the results of our coaching efforts. It drains a lot of my energy when I am trying to convince and persuade someone to fix their problems. Everyone has the right to have their own problems. And the right to not want to fix them.